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Tweet like the Twitterati: Twop Twen Twips

Apr 29th, 2010:Internet Related

I see a lot of people using twitter wrong. Hopefully this will clear up a few things and help you to become a top twit in 10 easy steps. Before you start using these twips you might want to GET MORE TWITTER FOLLOWERS.

1. Add two random capital letters after every tweet.

Your followers will think you have a small army of ghost twitterers who sign tweets with their initials.

2. Be a warm genuine personality

If you’re not a warm, genuine person add a smiley emoticon after all your tweets :)

3. Get Re-Tweeted

Retweets are the new currency. Get them. Add Plz RT to the end of every tweet.

4. Be exclusive

Everybody wants to be in an inner circle. Make it known you have one. Writing an email to some of your friends? Tweet about it:

5. Be mysterious

Did your mother just tell you not to let your Dad know she got him a new pair of slippers for his birthday? Tweet about it. The right way:

6. Amalgamate your tweets

Think @scobleizer is a pretty smart guy? Just off the phone from your mother?

7. Power users polarise

Remember, on the internet there is only win or fail.There is no middle ground. HATE it or LOVE it. Put your back into it.

8. Vent obliquely

Give out vehemently (see previous tip) about common personality traits or behaviour. You will generate huge curiousity as people wonder if you are referring to them.

9. Be a quitter

Be too cool for school. Get out while your ahead. Explain that you’re too busy, it’s too noisy, the social media ninjas are ruining it for everyone, the noobs don’t know how to behave. Only be sure and come back to see who missed you.

10. Share the wealth

There’s a lot of noobs out there. Be sure and tell as many people as possible how to use Twitter. They may be using it incorrectly.

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